Communicate to connect

Communicate to ConnectIntroduction: Communication is the order of the day in the 21st century. There is boom in communication technology with the availability of internet, cell-phones and Blue-tooth technology. We are all frantic about communicating to connect to our friends, relatives and business partners. The fact of the matter is human beings are social beings and they are supposed to communicate. Communication is happening at the board room meetings, it is occurring when two friends are chatting through the web; it is also happening when out in the jungle against all odds the Sage is in solitude and meditating to attain enlightenment. So how to master communication in the age of technology and communication? How to connect effectively with your friends, customers, colleagues, self and God? This article will throw a light on this topic.
Communicating with Self- We may be unaware of the fact that we all are constantly communicating with ourselves. We usually focus on communicating with others than self. Most of the programs are developed to help people communicate with their clients, customers, juniors and seniors effectively. But the quality of our communication will be directly proportional to the quality of our communication with ourselves. How you communicate with yourself will have a telling effect on how you communicate with others. The manner in which we communicate with ourselves decides whether we are peaceful, happy and content with our lives or whether we are frustrated, depressed and dissatisfied with our lives. Remember that we communicate with ourselves by the thoughts we think and what we say about ourselves when we are alone or in presence of others. If you are a person who thinks negatively and constantly have thought like, ‘can’t do’, ‘it’s hopeless’, ‘it won’t work’, ‘I am a victim’ etc. then you are communicating with yourself to fail in life. When you speak about yourself in solitude or in presence of others what do you say? Do you berate yourself? When people compliment you on your job, do you accept it or reject it demeaning yourself. If you do so then you are communicating to yourself that you don’t amount much in this world and that whatever you do doesn’t make any difference. You got to have a positive self image about yourself and start having thoughts that give joy, peace and health to you. If you improve your communication with yourself then you will learn to have healthy relations with others and then you will communicate effectively with them. Learn to meditate everyday for sometime during the day. Sit in a comfortable place and think thoughts that only focus on the good and positive. Do this for 15 to 20 minutes every day and that simple exercise would go a long way to help you to improve your communication with self. Sit and take an inventory of the words that you use daily. If you use words that de- motivate and
Communicating with others: When we communicate with others, we should remember what the Sages of the old used to practice before they uttered any word out of their mouth breaking their long held silence. They used to have a ‘Three-Gate’ test for a word to fall out of their mouths. The first gate test asked the question “Is it helpful?” The second asked, “Is it necessary?” and finally the third gate test asked, “Is it kind?” If a word passed all these tests then it was allowed to come out of their mouths. Follow this wisdom of the yore and you will drastically improve your communication with others. The bottom line is this that you may be communicating with your superiors, colleagues or juniors but what you say should be necessary, helpful and kind for others and yourself. “A soft answer turns away wrath” says the ancient Scriptures. Your words have power to incite or inspire, to make or break, to be cherished or remembered with vengeance. So choose the right words to improve your communication with others. Have words that spread joy, peace, health and honor. If you do this you will be paid back in same proportion. People will love to communicate with you. Your words would be like the honey dripping from a honey comb. No matter from what position you want to communicate or to whom you want to communicate, the bottom line is this that if you show that you communicate to care, you will be an effective communicator.
Silence as Communication tool: When we think of communication, most people would think that communication is about the words that we use. Some would say it also involves the body language and tonality and very few would be aware that Silence is also a form of communication. When you have an argument with your spouse, what does he or she do? They don’t talk with you. In silence, they are communicating their displeasure for the argument that occurred, so keeping silent is also a form of communicating. When someone is speaking, we learn to have patience and give that person our ears. When we are silent, we are communicating that we are listening and giving him chance to speak, we are showing through our silence that we value his speech. There is a story in the Bible, where the prophet Elijah is scared of a Queen who has issued a death warrant against him and he runs into the wilderness to avoid getting caught. He is troubled and sees a vision. In the vision he sees a storm, fire bypassing him. He feels that God is in the storm or the wind. But he is wrong. After these phenomena, he finds a lull, a silence and then he hears the voice of God speaking and encouraging him. There’s a lesson for us to learn in this incident. When you are silent, you are open to God or the Universe or the Nature communicating to you. Enlightenment and Wisdom is gained in silence that is why, Buddha was alone in silence meditating under a tree when he got enlightenment. The man against an empire, Gandhi knew the power of Silence and so he adopted a method that was unique, passive resistance. Oppose the British Empire but be not loud in the methods you use, through your silence communicate your opposition. We knew that the whole British Empire had to bend before this form of resistance. So silence has great value, benefits and power in it. Use it to your advantage. “Be still and know that I am God.” When you are still, you will realize that you are a part of the divine; you have it in you all that is required to reach your goals and be a success.
Conclusion: Communicate to connect. The aim of your communication should always be to connect, connecting to your real self, connecting and reaching to others’ hearts and connecting to the Supreme. May you communicate effectively and may you connect effectively as you communicate.
Joy be all yours. (Sohan)