I am a person who carries eyes filled with hope. I know that darkness gives way to light; winter gives way to spring and sorrows give way to joy. If you are a person going through dark periods in your life; I want to be your herald, announcing the coming of Daybreak in your life. "The darkest hour is just before the daybreak". May this blog serve as a 'Daybreak' in your life. Joy be all yours. Sohan
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Vision of Beyond
<strong>The Vision of Beyond>
Introduction: Who is a seer? Seer is a person, a prophet who has the gift of seeing beyond the present situation into the future. In other words he or she is a person who possesses the vision of beyond. What once was thought to be the gift of exclusive class- the seers, is now the general requirement of every successful entrepreneur. Very few people in this world actually have developed this art of seeing beyond the present situation into the future. Most of us are victims of the disease called Myopia in ophthalmologic terms. Myopia is short- sightedness. A person can only see the things that are near him. He has trouble to see the things which are far off. In figurative sense, if I borrow the term we all have myopia when we look at different situations that encounter us on day to day basis. For example, what happens when troubles besiege you from all sides? You are overwhelmed with disappointment and discouragement and many of us become guilty of giving up at the first try. This is because we cannot see beyond the troubles that besiege us. But then there are people who have developed gifted eyesight that sees the situation not as it is but what it could be. They are the people who are ready to face the short-term losses for long term benefits. They are the people who will brave the storm knowing that it would lead them to discover new promised lands. In this article we will try to see how we could develop that blessed eyesight which sees opportunities in difficulties, blessings in misfortunes, light in obscurity and life in mortality.
Physical Eyesight tells us half-truth: Remember what we see with our physical eyes is limited. You could look at a caterpillar and feel the ugly itches it gives to your body and never see it of any use. But your eyesight is telling you only the half truth. We all know that one day the same caterpillar would turn into a beautiful butterfly which everyone admires and longs to touch. So the first thing in developing eyesight that sees beyond is to know that your physical eyesight is limited. Physical eyesight will only give you the picture of things as they appear to be at the moment. But they cannot grasp the hidden potential a situation, thing or person may possess. Physical eyes tend to overlook such things and many times we react on the half truth that our physical eyes tell us. For example let’s say on a particular day, you see a person who seems to be gloomy and doesn’t interact with anyone. You form a conclusion that he is very rude and egoistic. The truth maybe that day he has faced some untoward incident in his life. His wife maybe sick or he may be facing some problems regarding his children. He may be in meditative mood that day brooding over how to overcome the situation he is facing. So he appears to be aloof. On other days, he may be very outgoing and jovial person who loves to make new friends and enjoys company. So are your eyes at the given moment telling you the whole truth? Of course not! I remember a story from my English text in school days. There was a woman who moved into a certain neighborhood. She seemed to be a divorcee with two children. Most of the part of the day, the children used to be away from home. She used to send them out early morning. She used to be alone at home and had two male visitors regularly visiting her. The neighborhood was quick to judge her as a woman of suspicious character on the basis of what they saw. But the same neighborhood was ashamed when they came to know the truth. The woman’s husband had died a few years ago. She was suffering from a chronic disease. She didn’t wanted her children to see her suffering so she sent them away whole day. The men who visited her were her family doctor and lawyer. This story teaches us that not all that we see with our physical eyes is the whole truth. The physical eyes are limited to see only the three-dimensional space. They cannot see beyond, so don’t interpret events on the basis of what you see immediately, Always think what it could mean from other angle too.
Developing the Mental eyesight: You may be unconsciously aware of the fact that we also have what is known as mental eyesight. Just as you see pictures within the limits of three-dimensional space with your physical eyesight, you can also see pictures within you mind. Rather, most of the time we are busy forming pictures of what was or what could be in our mental eyesight. For example, the day your boss comes with a serious face and doesn’t greet you. Your mind starts busy picturing what could be the reason that he is somber. You picture in your mind the last day’s events; did you or someone in your office do something that offended your boss? Your mind also runs wild now and pictures the consequences of what could happen in the future. You see yourself in the office with the boss and you picture your boss shouting at you. You picture the day when you are given a memo and also the day when you are fired. You picture that your family is in trouble because you’ve lost the job. It’s time to put harness on the wild gallops of your mind and take control of it or it could lead you into depression. By now you must have been getting consciously aware of fact that we all have what is known as mental eyesight through which we form mental pictures in our minds. It is this faculty that we can use to our benefit when we want to develop the vision of beyond. How do we do this? Whenever you see an untoward incident or situation with your physical eyes, don’t immediately come to the conclusion that all is lost. Take the aid of your mental eyesight to see through the different options that could be possible. Remember this great truth, your physical eyesight is limited to the three dimensional space but your mental eyesight is not. It can cross the limits of three dimensions and reach unprecedented places. So when you encounter a negative situation, fall back on the resources of your mental eyesight. In your mind form a favorable picture of the negative situation. Your boss may look gloomy today but form the picture that it is nothing to do with you and he is very happy with you and though today he is not in mood because of some domestic problem, he is soon going to shower praises on you for your commitment and hard work. When you fail at something, don’t form the picture of a failure or loser in your mental eyesight rather form the picture that the failure is just an interval in your project and it is helping you to see what should be done, which way to be taken. Form a mental picture that you have reached your goals; you have accomplished what you always wanted. You faced failures but they were just detours in the course of your journey. You may be facing a storm in the ocean, look beyond that storm with the aid of your mental eyesight that you have reached the shores, the promised lands. Look in your mind that this storm that you are encountering is there not to dissuade you from your goal but rather push you toward your goal; it is making you stronger, richer and wiser. When you do this you’ll surely be on your way to develop the vision of beyond. That’s the meaning of walking by faith and not by eyesight. Here’s some wisdom, I’m not moved by what I see; I’m moved by what I want to see. Always allow that accomplished picture, that consummated dream to move you. Hold that picture firm in your mind, so firm that it moves you to action.
Don’t be Reactive, be Proactive: This is the final thing we ought to implement in our journey to develop the blessed vision of beyond. In the first two points, I have made it clear to you that whatever we see with our physical eyesight is not enough, it may not be offering you the whole truth. In the second point, we saw how we should develop the faculty of forming the favorable picture with the aid of our mental eyesight. Now the third and final thing we should remember is that we should not react immediately and let our minds run wild and then take some action based on ephemeral emotions. Rather than being reactive, be proactive. Proactive is opposite of Reactive. Reaction comes immediately on the basis of the stimulus. You respond to a stimulus that is reaction. But being proactive means, you choose your responses. It is here that the second point comes into picture, first use the faculty of your mental eyesight to form a favorable picture about the untoward situation you are facing and then choose your actions on the basis of that favorable picture. Sometimes you may have to develop the art of patience. You may have to take time to analyze the situation from all angles and then forming the favorable picture choose your action. Remember the wisdom of Victor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” If we forget this and become reactive to the stimulus provided to us by our five senses, we are no better off than animals. God has made human beings different from animals in this regard that we can choose our responses to what happens to us. The power of choice is the greatest power bestowed on human beings by God. So be patient, analyze, use your mental eyesight and then act.
Conclusion: Let’s end with some famous words from the great Lincoln Memorial speech of Martin Luther King Jr. “I have a dream that one day on the red hill of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that one day my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today!” It is because of the vision of beyond that people like Martin Luther King Jr. developed we see a free and fair nation of America today. So next time you seeing a wall, remember that there is a world beyond the wall, if only you could stretch out to reach it with the Vision of Beyond.
Joy be all yours
Sohan.
To be or not to be
To be or not to be
The power of decision making
Introduction: Decisions, decisions, decisions! Every moment of your life, you have to make decisions whether you like it or not. Even when you decide not take a decision, you are actually making a decision to be indecisive. It is because you have made a decision so you are reading this article and it is your decision that will keep you reading up to the end or you may decide to do otherwise. It is a simple truth of life that you are where you are because of the decisions you have made at certain point of time in your life. If that is the case then we out to know that there is tremendous potential hidden in our decisions to be revealed. We ought to know the art of decision making; we ought to learn the skills of making decisions that will influence our lives and the lives of others around us in a positive way. This article will make us aware of the skills of making decisions and how can we use them to our benefit.
Indecisiveness: The Hamlet’s syndrome of indecision making is a pervasive phenomenon. Just as Hamlet was plagued between the decisions about his scheming Uncle Claudius, who had committed a regicide by killing his father, marrying his mother and usurping his throne so, are many people plagued about their day to day decisions. Many times as common people, we fail to realize that the ability to take decisions is a gift from God and there is awesome power in decision making. “It’s in the moment of your decisions that your destiny is shaped”, says Anthony Robbins. That one quote made a tremendous impact in my own life. It was then I decided that I should commence into the field of Soft – Skills teaching for which I always had a passion. It is because that decision I took, that I have a good job and also I am writing this article. Remember whoever you are, every moment of your life you have to take decisions. It may be from a simple decision like which dress should you wear today or what you should have in your plate for dinner to decisions in the corporate world that move transactions, money and people. In fact God has bestowed this power of decision making to human beings exclusively. Animals or other creatures cannot distinguish between the good and bad and decide. So we are privileged creation of God that has been given the independent power of decision making. We should use it for our growth, peace, prosperity and well – being. But many times we are indecisive about things. We cannot decide between the choices laid before us. Somebody said that it is better to make wrong decisions than not making any at all. Wrong decisions will make the correct path more obvious so we should not shy away from wrong decisions. Yes, don’t be afraid of making decisions, for an indecisive person will meet the fate of Hamlet, that’s the lesson we get to learn from Shakespeare’s tragedy.
Decide to look at the positive side of life: When you get up in the morning, you have to decide between the two choices, whether you would look at the day with the eyes of hope and enthusiasm or you would complain and crib about how awful it is. Every situation that you encounter from thereon during the day would challenge you to take bold decisions or decisions that are influenced by outer circumstances. Remember this; your happiness is directly linked to the decision to look at the positive side even when the outer circumstances are pressurizing you to do otherwise. When your car tire is flat, you can decide to curse the car, the day and God or decide to remain unperturbed and choose to travel by a cab or in a friend’s car. When you face the heat at your workplace, you can decide to lash back and endanger your reputation in the work place or use the heat to warm up your chances of getting promoted by doing exactly and over of what is expected from you. When someone treats you wrong and overlooks you, you can choose to worry over the matter or decide to bypass the matter and show nothing but love to the one who wrongs you. “Do not be overcome by evil; but overcome evil by good.” That should be our motto in such cases. When you encounter a situation you don’t like, you should have an eye on long term benefit about the situation rather than looking at the near discomfit it is causing you. Maybe your boss hands over to you a job that you dislike, so you fret and fume about it. But by doing the work without complaining, you will make an positive impression on your boss and after many years when the time comes for a higher post to be filled, your boss will have none other than you in his mind.
Decide to be courageous: “When you cannot make up your mind which of the two evenly balanced courses of action you should take- choose the bolder” says, Ezra Pound. There is an awesome truth hidden in this quote. Many times we shy away from taking the courageous or bolder decisions when we are faced with a dilemma. What do you do when you encounter a situation where you get a project for which you have to be away from your family members for some period? You are torn between the two options; you don’t feel secure leaving your comfort zone of family members, your colleagues and friends and venture into the unknown. Let me tell you in the olden days, when much of the new lands were to be discovered people rarely went out into the deep sea. They used to travel in parallel to the shore, always keeping the shore in their sight. But there was one man Columbus, who decided to travel perpendicular and not parallel to the sea shore. He ventured out deep into the sea, faced times of doubt, fear and storms but at the end of it he discovered many new lands. When your marriage is on the verge of breaking up you are faced with the decision of divorce but you choose the bolder one, to win over your mate once again to woo him or her once again, to fall in love once again. You decide to stick with her or him and you through your actions that emanate nothing but love you finally win. You decided to be courageous, it is always too soon to quit. You took the courageous decision and you and your posterity is benefited by your action. Everyone in the exam hall resorts to malpractice, the examiners don’t seem to care much about it. You stick to the courageous decision of not resorting to the malpractice of cheating, you study and you pass. Maybe on paper the others got better grades than you, but when it comes for the time of implementing what they have learnt, they are blank walls, while you a collage full of knowledge and wisdom. In life you are more successful, deep down in your heart you are happier and the smile on your lips is not a fake one. Bravo! Stick to the bolder, courageous decisions in life, they will take you ahead miles while keeping on your face the smiles.
Decide to rise above, to be nobler: Lastly, whenever you encounter a situation that challenges you to be mean and to be like the people around you choose the better option. Don’t soar on the average level, be like the eagle, rise higher, don’t swim with the current, be a live fish swim against the current, don’t react like the ordinary mortals, be proactive choose your response and choose the nobler side. Whenever the situation around you or the people around you pressurize you to take an action that seems to be less than noble don’t give in. Always stick to the nobler decisions in life. It may seem that for sometime you are missing the fun but on a long term basis you would be glad to know that what you viewed as fun was nothing but frivolity and vanity that would have pushed you off the course. Let me illustrate, many students when they venture out into their college years, they are pressurized by some students to hang outside the classrooms rather than hear the lectures of the teachers. Many students give in to this temptation. They while away their time outside in the college canteen or go for a movie or indulge in habits like smoking and drinking. Such habits seem to be fun for the moment but on the long term basis they destroy the student’s career. They change a student’s focus from academic goals to goals that are nothing but vanity. By the time a student realizes his or her mistakes, it is too late. So friends, don’t give in to decisions that are less noble, decide to rise above, decide to pursue the nobler, the higher, the better. Decide to be a winner; decide to pursue the lifestyle of winners. Remember in doing so, you may seem to loose the fun but you will sustain the joy in your heart forever.
Conclusion: I would like to conclude this article by the famous lines from the well-known poem, ‘The Road not taken’ of Robert Frost: “Two roads diverged in a wood and I, took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” May God bless you all readers and give you the courage to decide, to make decisions, to make mistakes, to learn and to grow. May we all be awaken to the awesome power of decision making.
Joy be all yours.
Sohan.
Unbeatable Mindset
Unbeatable Mindset
Introduction: In the year 1952, two men did what was unprecedented till then. Norgay Tenzing and Edmund Hillary climbed the highest peak in the world, the Mount Everest which was not conquered by man previously. When Edmund Hillary was interviewed later about his experience and how he could conquer the highest peak he said, “It is not about conquering mountains, it is about conquering yourself.” In other words he was trying to convey the message that when a human being conquers his mind, he can conquer anything and everything. Reaching milestones in life is all about having an Unbeatable Mindset. It is a mindset that says, “I don’t give up, I don’t quit, I can do it.” The world is filled with examples as of Norgay Tenzing and Edmund Hillary in every field like business, sports, politics etc. If we study all these people, they have one thing in common that is an Unbeatable Mindset. So how can we also possess an Unbeatable Mindset, or rather develop our Minds to that level where we will possess an Unbeatable Mindset? This article will help us in this very regard.
1. An open Mind: The first mark of an Unbeatable Mindset is to have an open mind. By an open mind, I mean a mind willing to study. A mind willing to be flexible, a mind that is ready to empathize with the other point of view. Many times we are bound by limits because we don’t want to have an open mindset. Our minds are hewn and shaped by culture, religions, nations, castes, families and societies around us. We tend to learn everything from our childhood from the above mentioned areas of life. We are inclined to behave and act as we are taught by our surroundings. So if your religion, nation, caste, culture tells you that certain things are bad and unacceptable, we tend to follow and continue with this trend in our adulthood. If our surroundings and people tell us that we cannot venture into the dark because there is evil lurking in the dark on a full moon or new moon day we tend to make this our belief and follow it religiously. When an astrologer tells us that you belong to this Sun sign or Moon sign and your personality is bound by this weakness we accept his words, welcome that weakness in our lives, befriend it and live with it our whole lives. When you are taught from your childhood that certain mountains are a taboo and you should avoid them, you are bound to keep yourself away from going in the proximity of those mountains and definitely from attempting to conquer them. So the first requirement is to have an open mind, a mind that will challenge limiting beliefs of people around us, what religions, cultures, societies imbibe in us. What if Edmund Hillary was taught not to associate with people from other countries or skin colour? The climbing on Mount Everest was a team effort, if he was not accompanied by Norgay Tensing who was a Nepali, it would have been different story altogether. So have an open mind, a mind that is willing to accept the different point of view and be flexible.
2. A Learning Mind: “When the student is ready the teacher appears” goes the saying. Life will always throw situation, people, and circumstances around us to teach us. “Remember there are no failures, only lessons to be learnt” says, Cherrie De Scott, the author of “IF Life are a Game these are the Rules.” But Life would teach us not forcefully, rather very subtly and only with the condition that we are willing to learn. People who conquer mountains have always been good students of Life. They have a humble mindset that is willing to learn, de-learn, re-learn, assimilate and execute what they Life has taught them. They are ready to give up their preconceived notions and beliefs and accept new ones that make them wiser. They remain students of a faculty for their whole lives even though they may be renowned as Masters of it. They make necessary alterations and evolve with times as they keep on learning. To possess a learning mind is to possess a mind that is constantly sharpened. There was a woodcutter hired by a company. He regularly cut trees for the company and got some money. He did so for five years. After some time another woodcutter was hired by the company. After some months he was immediately promoted and his salary hiked. Naturally, the previous woodcutter felt ignored. He went to the manager of the company; the manager said to him that he would be happy to give him promotion too but the new woodcutter was cutting more trees per day than him so they had promoted him. If he did the same, the company would hike his pay too. So the woodcutter went back and started hitting at the trees hard. But he was still able to manage only the same amount of trees everyday. So he was puzzled and told his query to the manager. The manager told him that he should consult the new woodcutter, maybe he knew the secret that both of them were unaware of. The woodcutter went to the new woodcutter and asked him the secret of his success. The new woodcutter replied, “The secret of cutting more trees is that after every tree I cut, I take some rest and sharpen my axe”. Friends, to possess an unbeatable mindset, it is important that we have minds that are open to sharpening, to undergo the process of learning, de-learning and relearning.
3. A mind that knows fear but acknowledges courage: There is a positive and encouraging advertisement that is being displayed on Television sets in India by a Cola company. Its motto is “Victory lies beyond your fears”. There is a great element of truth in it. When we look at successful people and the heights that they have gain in their career we are overawed by their career graphs that seem to soar like the eagle soaring in the blue sky. We feel that they are people who are specially gifted with the gift of courage. We feel that the things that they have attempted and risked are not for everyone. They were blessed from heaven to do that task. It won’t be possible for us to climb the same mountains they have because they were born fearless. But if we read and study carefully the lives of these great souls, we will be surprised to know that they are all common people who have risen out of their fears and touched great heights in life. They were people who knew fear but rather than acknowledging it or befriending it and limiting themselves and their progress, they chose to acknowledge courage and progress. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “When you stay with a problem long enough, it turns out to be a blessing.” In the same way when you stay with a fear long enough and refuse to quit, the fear will give way to courage. To be courageous, you first have to know what fear is. When you know fear and despite of it choose to be courageous, than you’ve graduated to have a mind that fearless. Look at the word, “Fear-less”. The fear is there but its effect has been lessened or made ‘nil’ in one’s life. In other words, the person knows fear but acknowledges courage. He is acquainted with the fact that there is fear, but he does not befriend it and let it paralyse his development. He rather chooses to befriend courage. He chooses to go beyond the fear and knows that real freedom lies there beyond his fears. Many times fears are illusory. Many times things don’t turn out as we feared them to turn out. Mark Twain said it well, “I am an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened.” The troubles that Mark Twain feared never happened. Look at that quote! We cannot disagree with his wisdom. The wise thing to do is go beyond our fears. We should know fear but not befriend it, acknowledge and befriend courage. That will help us to posses an unbeatable mindset.
4. A mind that refuses to quit: The fourth factor to possess an unbeatable mindset is to have a mind that refuses to quit in face of trials, troubles and failures. A mind that accepts failures as the part of the process of success and learns from the failures will achieve its goals. Usually the common people around us give up too soon. When students encounter failure in examination many of them end their lives, when people lose in business they shut off their business and quit trying, when an interviewee fails to get the desired job he gets discouraged and despondent, when people find it difficult to adjust with their spouses because of the differences in thinking, they take the recourse of divorce. Remember, “It’s always too soon to give up; and it is always never too late to try again.” Between 1920 to 1952, seven major expeditions had failed to reach the Everest summit. Edmund Hillary had tried reaching in 1951 and 1952 and reattempted in 1953 when finally he and Tenzing Norgay reached the world’s highest peak. If you go behind the success stories of all the famous people, you will find that many times in their lives they have encountered failures. The only difference between them and the common crowd was that they choose to stay in the game longer than most of us do and that is why they emerged as winners at the end. We all know the great scientist Thomas Edison who invented the microphone, the incandescent light, the storage battery and other things. On December 1914 his laboratory was in flames due to combustion in the film room. All his life’s work was destroyed in the laboratory. He was 67 at that time. Many thought including his son Charles that he won’t be able to take it. But the next morning Edison looking at the ruins said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew” Three weeks after this disaster, he invented the phonograph. That’s the mind refusing to give up, the mark of an unbeatable mindset.
5. A noble mind: Finally, an unbeatable mindset is a mind that chooses nobler options in life. When it comes to choose between hate and love, revenge and forgiveness, strife and peace, loosing battles and winning war the nobler mind always chooses the later of the options. A nobler mind is willing to sacrifice the short term benefits for long term goals. A nobler mind always looks for the future benefits, benefits that would stay longer and is willing to sacrifice the alluring, pleasurable short term frivolities. A noble mind is willing to sacrifice the good for the best. Many times they say, “The good is many times the enemy of the best” What would have happened if Agnes Gonxhe Bojaxhiu would have chosen to keep on working as a Principal of the reputed convent school and lead a comfortable life rather than be a ‘saint of the gutters?’Nothing much. We wouldn’t have known Mother Teresa. What would have happened if a young and promising barrister chose to stay in foreign country and pursue his career and profession rather than plunge himself in the Indian Freedom struggle? We wouldn’t have known the Father of Nation, Mahatma Gandhi. What would have happened if the brave soldiers of our country chose a life of merriment and comfort rather than a life or vigilance and sacrifice, we surely won’t be very secure in such a country. Choose the nobler option, the option that will help you to rise above the common crowd, an option that would decorate your life with love, peace, joy, fulfilment and enlightenment. Drugs, addiction, gambling, cheating, fraud are options that many of the people around us choose and though it may give them a short-term ‘high’, on long term basis the effects would be worse than the people realize. So rise above the ordinary, you are meant to be nobler and leave a nobler legacy for your posterity to follow.
Conclusion: Wilma Rudolph was born in a family of 22 children, born prematurely. Scarlet fever took off her ability to walk and left her polio stricken. Segregation of the black people in U.S was the order of the day and Wilma happened to be a black person. Doctors gave the hope of her being able to walk again. But at the encouragement of her mother, she gave up her braces on legs and started walking, then running and participating in sports in her school. In many races she came last but refused to quit until the day dawned and she came first. She kept on participating and met Ed Temple who coached her for Olympics and on September 7th in Rome Wilma became the first American woman to win 3 gold medals defeating the world’s best runner in those times, Jutta Henin. That’s the story of an unbeatable mindset. So friends, we all can graduate to possess the unbeatable mindset, if we are willing to work on ourselves according to the above laid out tips. Remember if we possess an unbeatable mindset, we will surely be unbeatable.
Joy be all yours.
Sohan.
Introduction: In the year 1952, two men did what was unprecedented till then. Norgay Tenzing and Edmund Hillary climbed the highest peak in the world, the Mount Everest which was not conquered by man previously. When Edmund Hillary was interviewed later about his experience and how he could conquer the highest peak he said, “It is not about conquering mountains, it is about conquering yourself.” In other words he was trying to convey the message that when a human being conquers his mind, he can conquer anything and everything. Reaching milestones in life is all about having an Unbeatable Mindset. It is a mindset that says, “I don’t give up, I don’t quit, I can do it.” The world is filled with examples as of Norgay Tenzing and Edmund Hillary in every field like business, sports, politics etc. If we study all these people, they have one thing in common that is an Unbeatable Mindset. So how can we also possess an Unbeatable Mindset, or rather develop our Minds to that level where we will possess an Unbeatable Mindset? This article will help us in this very regard.
1. An open Mind: The first mark of an Unbeatable Mindset is to have an open mind. By an open mind, I mean a mind willing to study. A mind willing to be flexible, a mind that is ready to empathize with the other point of view. Many times we are bound by limits because we don’t want to have an open mindset. Our minds are hewn and shaped by culture, religions, nations, castes, families and societies around us. We tend to learn everything from our childhood from the above mentioned areas of life. We are inclined to behave and act as we are taught by our surroundings. So if your religion, nation, caste, culture tells you that certain things are bad and unacceptable, we tend to follow and continue with this trend in our adulthood. If our surroundings and people tell us that we cannot venture into the dark because there is evil lurking in the dark on a full moon or new moon day we tend to make this our belief and follow it religiously. When an astrologer tells us that you belong to this Sun sign or Moon sign and your personality is bound by this weakness we accept his words, welcome that weakness in our lives, befriend it and live with it our whole lives. When you are taught from your childhood that certain mountains are a taboo and you should avoid them, you are bound to keep yourself away from going in the proximity of those mountains and definitely from attempting to conquer them. So the first requirement is to have an open mind, a mind that will challenge limiting beliefs of people around us, what religions, cultures, societies imbibe in us. What if Edmund Hillary was taught not to associate with people from other countries or skin colour? The climbing on Mount Everest was a team effort, if he was not accompanied by Norgay Tensing who was a Nepali, it would have been different story altogether. So have an open mind, a mind that is willing to accept the different point of view and be flexible.
2. A Learning Mind: “When the student is ready the teacher appears” goes the saying. Life will always throw situation, people, and circumstances around us to teach us. “Remember there are no failures, only lessons to be learnt” says, Cherrie De Scott, the author of “IF Life are a Game these are the Rules.” But Life would teach us not forcefully, rather very subtly and only with the condition that we are willing to learn. People who conquer mountains have always been good students of Life. They have a humble mindset that is willing to learn, de-learn, re-learn, assimilate and execute what they Life has taught them. They are ready to give up their preconceived notions and beliefs and accept new ones that make them wiser. They remain students of a faculty for their whole lives even though they may be renowned as Masters of it. They make necessary alterations and evolve with times as they keep on learning. To possess a learning mind is to possess a mind that is constantly sharpened. There was a woodcutter hired by a company. He regularly cut trees for the company and got some money. He did so for five years. After some time another woodcutter was hired by the company. After some months he was immediately promoted and his salary hiked. Naturally, the previous woodcutter felt ignored. He went to the manager of the company; the manager said to him that he would be happy to give him promotion too but the new woodcutter was cutting more trees per day than him so they had promoted him. If he did the same, the company would hike his pay too. So the woodcutter went back and started hitting at the trees hard. But he was still able to manage only the same amount of trees everyday. So he was puzzled and told his query to the manager. The manager told him that he should consult the new woodcutter, maybe he knew the secret that both of them were unaware of. The woodcutter went to the new woodcutter and asked him the secret of his success. The new woodcutter replied, “The secret of cutting more trees is that after every tree I cut, I take some rest and sharpen my axe”. Friends, to possess an unbeatable mindset, it is important that we have minds that are open to sharpening, to undergo the process of learning, de-learning and relearning.
3. A mind that knows fear but acknowledges courage: There is a positive and encouraging advertisement that is being displayed on Television sets in India by a Cola company. Its motto is “Victory lies beyond your fears”. There is a great element of truth in it. When we look at successful people and the heights that they have gain in their career we are overawed by their career graphs that seem to soar like the eagle soaring in the blue sky. We feel that they are people who are specially gifted with the gift of courage. We feel that the things that they have attempted and risked are not for everyone. They were blessed from heaven to do that task. It won’t be possible for us to climb the same mountains they have because they were born fearless. But if we read and study carefully the lives of these great souls, we will be surprised to know that they are all common people who have risen out of their fears and touched great heights in life. They were people who knew fear but rather than acknowledging it or befriending it and limiting themselves and their progress, they chose to acknowledge courage and progress. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “When you stay with a problem long enough, it turns out to be a blessing.” In the same way when you stay with a fear long enough and refuse to quit, the fear will give way to courage. To be courageous, you first have to know what fear is. When you know fear and despite of it choose to be courageous, than you’ve graduated to have a mind that fearless. Look at the word, “Fear-less”. The fear is there but its effect has been lessened or made ‘nil’ in one’s life. In other words, the person knows fear but acknowledges courage. He is acquainted with the fact that there is fear, but he does not befriend it and let it paralyse his development. He rather chooses to befriend courage. He chooses to go beyond the fear and knows that real freedom lies there beyond his fears. Many times fears are illusory. Many times things don’t turn out as we feared them to turn out. Mark Twain said it well, “I am an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened.” The troubles that Mark Twain feared never happened. Look at that quote! We cannot disagree with his wisdom. The wise thing to do is go beyond our fears. We should know fear but not befriend it, acknowledge and befriend courage. That will help us to posses an unbeatable mindset.
4. A mind that refuses to quit: The fourth factor to possess an unbeatable mindset is to have a mind that refuses to quit in face of trials, troubles and failures. A mind that accepts failures as the part of the process of success and learns from the failures will achieve its goals. Usually the common people around us give up too soon. When students encounter failure in examination many of them end their lives, when people lose in business they shut off their business and quit trying, when an interviewee fails to get the desired job he gets discouraged and despondent, when people find it difficult to adjust with their spouses because of the differences in thinking, they take the recourse of divorce. Remember, “It’s always too soon to give up; and it is always never too late to try again.” Between 1920 to 1952, seven major expeditions had failed to reach the Everest summit. Edmund Hillary had tried reaching in 1951 and 1952 and reattempted in 1953 when finally he and Tenzing Norgay reached the world’s highest peak. If you go behind the success stories of all the famous people, you will find that many times in their lives they have encountered failures. The only difference between them and the common crowd was that they choose to stay in the game longer than most of us do and that is why they emerged as winners at the end. We all know the great scientist Thomas Edison who invented the microphone, the incandescent light, the storage battery and other things. On December 1914 his laboratory was in flames due to combustion in the film room. All his life’s work was destroyed in the laboratory. He was 67 at that time. Many thought including his son Charles that he won’t be able to take it. But the next morning Edison looking at the ruins said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew” Three weeks after this disaster, he invented the phonograph. That’s the mind refusing to give up, the mark of an unbeatable mindset.
5. A noble mind: Finally, an unbeatable mindset is a mind that chooses nobler options in life. When it comes to choose between hate and love, revenge and forgiveness, strife and peace, loosing battles and winning war the nobler mind always chooses the later of the options. A nobler mind is willing to sacrifice the short term benefits for long term goals. A nobler mind always looks for the future benefits, benefits that would stay longer and is willing to sacrifice the alluring, pleasurable short term frivolities. A noble mind is willing to sacrifice the good for the best. Many times they say, “The good is many times the enemy of the best” What would have happened if Agnes Gonxhe Bojaxhiu would have chosen to keep on working as a Principal of the reputed convent school and lead a comfortable life rather than be a ‘saint of the gutters?’Nothing much. We wouldn’t have known Mother Teresa. What would have happened if a young and promising barrister chose to stay in foreign country and pursue his career and profession rather than plunge himself in the Indian Freedom struggle? We wouldn’t have known the Father of Nation, Mahatma Gandhi. What would have happened if the brave soldiers of our country chose a life of merriment and comfort rather than a life or vigilance and sacrifice, we surely won’t be very secure in such a country. Choose the nobler option, the option that will help you to rise above the common crowd, an option that would decorate your life with love, peace, joy, fulfilment and enlightenment. Drugs, addiction, gambling, cheating, fraud are options that many of the people around us choose and though it may give them a short-term ‘high’, on long term basis the effects would be worse than the people realize. So rise above the ordinary, you are meant to be nobler and leave a nobler legacy for your posterity to follow.
Conclusion: Wilma Rudolph was born in a family of 22 children, born prematurely. Scarlet fever took off her ability to walk and left her polio stricken. Segregation of the black people in U.S was the order of the day and Wilma happened to be a black person. Doctors gave the hope of her being able to walk again. But at the encouragement of her mother, she gave up her braces on legs and started walking, then running and participating in sports in her school. In many races she came last but refused to quit until the day dawned and she came first. She kept on participating and met Ed Temple who coached her for Olympics and on September 7th in Rome Wilma became the first American woman to win 3 gold medals defeating the world’s best runner in those times, Jutta Henin. That’s the story of an unbeatable mindset. So friends, we all can graduate to possess the unbeatable mindset, if we are willing to work on ourselves according to the above laid out tips. Remember if we possess an unbeatable mindset, we will surely be unbeatable.
Joy be all yours.
Sohan.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
You are the best!
You are the best!
Introduction: You are unique! You are the one of your kind. You are incomparable. You are the best person and no one can replace you. Look at yourself in the mirror and shout, “I am the best, I am unique, I am blessed” and believe me you are! That’s what you are in God’s eyes who wonderfully and fearfully made you. But we tend to believe in what the people around us say or what our societies nominate us, or what the religion brands us. If you are like me, you would rather brood on one negative comment than other 99 positive comments you heard about yourself. Yes, we are inclined to hear and believe and then act on the negative comments that we hear from around us. Does this mean that negative words are more powerful than the positive ones? Not at all! But here’s the truth, you empower that which you give attention to. In this article, I want you to realize that no matter where you, how you look, and what you have gone through, you are the best person in the world. That is what this article is all about. It will instill the faith in you why you should believe that you are best!
You are the one of your kind: Remember out of the 6.8 billion people in the world, you are one and you are different. There is no one like you. In other words, you are unique, you are special. Scientists tell us that at the mother’s womb when you were being formed and taking shape there would have been millions of other possibilities where you could have been born as someone else but out of those all possibilities you are the chosen one. Many times we become paranoid about wanting to be the other person. Especially young people copy their heroes and stars, they try to imitate them and act and behave as their famous stars do. It shows that most of us are not aware that we are unique, we are special and we need not be someone other. The heroes and stars may be unique and famous but remember that we can never be them and they can never be you or someone else. If we could be someone else, we would just be clones of that person and I don’t think that clones are respected and awed by people as much as the real stars. So don’t be a clone, be the original. Celebrate that God has made you as a unique personality. None can be compared to you; you are uniquely bestowed with some special qualities that others do not possess. In nature we have different types of animals and birds, they have different abilities. Birds fly, fish swim and cheetahs run quicker. They do not try to imitate others, they know their potentials and are content with it and remain happy. So be the original, enjoy your uniqueness.
You are bestowed with special abilities: What are some things that you are good at? What are your strengths? Think of that! This world is full of examples of people who were bestowed with unique abilities. Picasso was a great painter, Beethoven a great musician, Pele a great football player, Lata Mangeshkar a great singer, Sachin Tendulkar a great batsman, Pythagoras a great mathematician, Einstein a great scientist and you a great ……………. . You may say “O’ don’t include me in that hall of fame.” But it’s not I but God that has made you with great abilities. He still counts you with all those giants in the hall of fame. But many times we don’t realize our potentials, our uniqueness, our abilities and what we are good at. We let it die inside of us while we are living in this world or the story would have been different. Many others including you could be counted with those examples given above. Do you realize this? Does this excite and move you? Remember you are the best because you are bestowed with unique qualities and abilities that others do not possess. It may be as simple as the ability to connect to people and make friends. But you are bestowed with some abilities and you have to discover that and let it blossom and bud so that you realize your full potential. Sometimes we require other people like our friends, our colleagues to help us realize that unique potential in us. Sometimes we discover it in times of emergencies. Sometimes it is obvious to us and others from our childhood. Whatever the way, but it is necessary that we realize that from our childhood we are gifted in some way or the other and it is our duty to realize this and use our abilities to make this world a better place.
You have it in you to overcome all obstacles in your path: On planet earth, we all have our share of obstacles, difficulties and problems to face. Many people get overwhelmed by the problems that show up in their lives. They get bitter and forget to blossom and bud to their full potential that God has bestowed in them. But then there are those few heroes who rise above the obstacles that are thrown in their path. Obstacles don’t deter them and put them down but rather motivate these people to do better, to rise to next level. I read a quote just the other day around, “Champions do not have cereals for breakfast; they have obstacles” We do not call a person who shies away from obstacles a champion, do we? But champions are those who go through the grit and grind and come out as a better person, putting behind the bruises and wounds that the event has left on them. Champions are those who are willing to run the extra mile even though they are only promised Blood, Sweat and Tears! But God, Nature or the Universe has designed each one of us to be a champion through the process of evolution. It is by going through the grit and grind of the obstacles and difficulties that we grow. Only by standing on thorns and not giving up to blossom that a rose flower can be called as the king of all flowers. A small child has in it the ability to walk and run, but if it refuses to walk because it falls down, it would be rendered paralyzed. In the same way we have to realize that God has put in us the ability to go through and overcome the difficulties that are strewn on our path. We may fall down, we may fail but when we get up and learn from our failures we emerge a better, stronger and nobler person. The pleasure of being crowned a Champion is more thrilling than the pain of practice, learning and failures and that’s what should we focus at to overcome the obstacles in our path so that each one of us would emerge a champion. Remember, you have in you all that is necessary to overcome the obstacles. “If God has brought you to it; he will also take you through it.”
You have a bright future: Finally, you are the best because a whole world of opportunities is spread out before you. Your future is going to better than your past. Most of the people have the habit of looking back in the past and cribbing that the good old days have passed. At every stage of life, we keep on feeling the same. But what we don’t realize that our best days are now and ahead of us and not behind. Where you are now, you will look back some day and say O those were the good old days. So remember the best time is now and in the coming time. If you have the right attitude, the right thoughts, and you are willing to take the right actions then surely your best days are waiting to unfold in a pleasant way before you. No matter what you have gone through, no matter where you are and no matter how many bitter experiences and failures you have experienced. The poet Robert Browning gives us wisdom when he says, “Grow old along with me for the best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made. Our times are in his hands who said, “A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all be not afraid.” People who realize this grow old gracefully and always look at the future with hope in their eyes. So give up the habit of looking back, history is to be a pointer of future direction to us. It should not be the way to be taken. It should act as a guide or teacher what we should do or not do while proceeding to our future. So let your past be your teacher to learn from, let your present be motivator to move ahead and the future a goal and focus. If you realize this you will realize your dreams in life, you will achieve your goals, life would seem to you a romantic experience and you will be in love with your life and you will hold you head high up and deep down in your heart, you will know, you are the best!
Conclusion: So friends, I believe that you have realized that you are unique, you have potentials, you are made for a purpose and that purpose is to lead a purposeful life and leave behind a legacy to be followed by our posterity. Rise up, awake! You are the best, you are one of your kind, you are bestowed with special talents, you have it in you to overcome all obstacles in your path, you are destined to be great and have a better future. So the next time you see yourself in the mirror, know that you are watching a person who is a star, who is a celebrity, who is a champion. Know that you are indeed the best and you are made to realize and taste the best! All the best!
Joy be all yours
Sohan
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